Cahills Read Fanfictions
by KTRose12
Summary: What happens when the Cahills read fanfictions? Will Dan stop falling off of his chair? Will Natalie's personal maid ever find the ability to ignore the screams coming from her mistress' room? To answer these questions, READ!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the 39 Clues, or fanfictions. ((But I do own fictionforfans dot com, if only it existed))  
><strong>

Dan entered the apartment and threw his backpack onto the couch. "Hey, Amy," he called, "you home?"

Amy walked out of the kitchen, chomping on an apple.

"Yeah," she said. "How was soccer tryouts?"

Dan shrugged. "Eh. It was okay, I guess."

He went to his room, and Amy heard him tapping at his computer. She went back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, she heard him call, "Amy! C'mere!"

Amy walked into Dan's room. "What?"

Dan pointed to the computer screen. "Hamilton sent me a link to this website. Fictionforfans dot com?"

"Okaaay..."

Dan grinned. "You know those books those Cahill authors published about the clue hunt?" he asked.

Amy nodded.

"Well...people wrote their own stories. Take a look."

Amy looked over her brother's shoulder as he clicked the link. A page popped out, and Dan clicked on _The 39 Clues_.

"Whoa," they breathed as the page popped up.

"Over 3,000 stories!" Dan exclaimed. He scrolled down the page. "Oh, look. They have categories. This one has a lot. 2,500 stories about...ack!" He fell out of his chair.

"What?" Amy asked. "What is it?" She squinted at the screen, and her mouth dropped open. "Amy's...LOVE STORIES?"

"Dude, that's sick," Dan groaned from the floor.

He popped back up. "Let's look at them!" he said evilly.

"NO!"

Dan cackled and clicked on the category. Sub-categories popped up.

"Amian," Dan read, "Hamy, Amonah...what language is this?"

Nellie walked into the room. "Hey," she said. "'sup?"

"We're reading about Amy's love interests," Dan said plainly.

"What?"

Amy rolled her eyes and told Nellie about the fan stories.

"But they're written in some other language," Dan groaned. "Look at this."

Nellie looked at the names. "Hamy, Amonah, Amian..." She suddenly burst out laughing.

"What?" Amy and Dan asked.

Nellie gasped for breath and said, "Ever heard of Brangelina?"

Amy shrugged. "Sure. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. What about it?"

Nellie snorted. "It's a mix up of names," she said.

Dan furrowed his brow. Suddenly, he looked at the screen again. "Ohhh..." He burst out laughing.

"What?" Amy shrieked. "What is it?"

"It's a mash up of YOUR name and other dudes' names," Dan laughed.

Amy looked at the screen. "Oh, no..."

Dan clicked on "Hamy".

"Gah! Dan, no!"

Dan chortled. "Only five hundred hits! Poor Hamilton..."

Amy slapped his arm. "Dan, come on..."

He went back a page and clicked on "Amonah".

"Who's that?" Nellie wondered. Dan clicked on the fourth story:

"Jonah Wizard was depressed. He had everything he could wish for—fame, money, talent.  
>But the only thing he didn't have was the girl—Amy Cahill, to be exact."<p>

Amy groaned. Nellie gagged.

"That's bad," she said.

Dan laughed. "He only has about two hundred stories," he said. He went back a page. "Let's see how many Amian has."

Amy furrowed her brow. "Amian? Who..." Her face blanched. "No, Dan, no!" she pleaded. "Please! I'm BEGGING!" She looked at Nellie for help.

Nellie grinned. "THIS I gotta see," she said. "Click on it, Dan-O."

Dan clicked on "Amian", and his eyes bugged out of his head. "WHOA! One-thousand, eight-hundred hits! _Dude_!"

Amy banged her head against the wall.

Nellie fell over laughing. "Click on one!" she gasped.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"Grr..." Amy stormed out of the room.

Dan began to read:

_Amy ran up the mountain. Isabel and Ian Kabra were right behind her._

Dan stopped. "Hey! Where am I?"

Nellie pointed to the page. "There. Keep reading."

Dan continued:

_Amy wished Dan was there, but he was someplace else._

"What? That's it?"

Nellie shrugged. "You know what they say. Three's a crowd."

"But there's already three of them!"

"Just keep reading."

Dan grumbled in annoyance and continued:

_Suddenly, Amy reached a cliff. She heard Isabel yelling from through the trees, "Just give us your clues and you won't get hurt!"_  
><em>"Never!" Amy yelled back. "I'm not afraid of you!"<em>

Dan stopped again. "This isn't realistic at all! Amy's not that brave!"

"That's what you think, dweeb!" Amy yelled from the other room. Apparently, she was still listening in.

"Keep reading!" Nellie demanded.

_"Ian, go that way," Amy heard Isabel yell. "I'll go this way!"_

_Amy looked around for a way out. There was none._  
><em>And suddenly she heard a voice say, "Hello, love."<em>

_Amy turned. Ian's face was serious. "You need to go. Now," he said._

_Amy's eyes widened. "You're letting me go?" she asked._

_Before he could respond, Isabel appeared through the trees. She was holding a machine gun._

_"If you won't give me your clues," she said to Amy. "Then DIE!" She lifted the gun to her shoulder._

_Having nowhere else to go, Amy turned. She took a deep breath, and jumped off the cliff._

Dan sat up. "Now _this_is real literature!" he exclaimed.

"Keep reading!" Amy yelled from the other room.

Dan sighed. "Amy was falling. Falling, falling, falling, falling..." He scrolled down the page. "The whole page is taken up by 'falling's'," he said. He clicked the next page.

"...falling, falling. Her time had come. She wished that she could have one more chance to tell her brother how amazingly awesome he was..."

"You made that up!" Amy yelled.

"But it's true!" Dan yelled back. "And it's better than this mush! Listen."

_Amy wished that she could have one more chance to live. She would do things differently, be a better person. She would face her fears and appreciate every new day._

"Who thinks stuff like that?" Dan demanded. "No one would ever think that on a normal day, much less while their falling to their death from a cliff about a thousand feet in the air."

Amy re-entered the room. "Okay, okay," she said. "Skip the amazing revelation that I have and get on with it."

Dan scrolled down the screen. "No...no...more revelation...no...aha! Okay."

_Amy saw the ground rushing up to meet her. This was it. She was about to die._

_Suddenly, she felt a pair of strong arms circle around her._

"Oh, no," Amy and Nellie moaned in unison.

Dan continued:

_Instead of hitting the ground, her descent was slowed. She looked up into the amber eyes of..._

Dan batted his own green eyes, "'...Ian Kabra.'"

"How the heck did Ian Kabra manage to save Amy from a thousand foot drop off the face of a cliff?" Nellie demanded. "Keep reading!"

_Amy looked up at him in shock. How did he save her? It was as if...Ian was flying._

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?" Nellie and Amy shrieked. Dan fell off the chair, laughing hysterically.

"You made that up!" Amy cried, running to the computer.

"No!" Dan gasped between laughs. "I didn't...I swear...HA!"

Amy peered at the screen. "Ian..." she practically spat out the name, "...was flying."

"Ian's a fairy!" Dan guffawed from the ground. "Ian's a fairy!"

Amy read a few more lines, then whacked Dan on the arm. "You dork!" she exclaimed. "Listen." She continued reading:

_But then she realized that he had a parachute. They landed lightly on the ground._

_Amy stared up into Ian's eyes. "You saved my life," she whispered._

_"I owed you one," Ian said. He leaned down towards her, and..._

Amy stopped reading. "You know what? I think that's enough of that." She clicked the button to go to the home page.

"Aww." Dan got up off the floor.

Amy scrolled down the main 39 Clues page.

"Heeeeey," she said. "Look at this!" She clicked on a category.

"What? What is it?" Dan asked, peering over her shoulder. "DAN'S LOVE STORIES?" He dropped to his knees. "No, Amy, I'm begging you! I'm sorry I read that other story! Really, I am. Please don't do this to me, Amy! Amy?"

Amy clicked on the category, ignoring her brother.

"Hm...let's see..." She looked at the subcategories. "There's only a few Dadison..."

Dan made a face. "Ew."

"Whoa. A _lot_ more Deagan."

"WHAT?"

"But the biggest category," Amy said, smirking, "seems to be..."

Dan's face blanched. "No. No. No. No. No. No..."

Amy whooped. "Natan!"

Dan fell to the floor. "Noooooooooooooo!"

Nellie fell over laughing.

Dan came up, spluttering. "How could they...I would never...they...I...she...WHAT? ME AND NATALIE KABRA? THAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING I EVER HEARD SINCE IAN KABRA CALLED YOU REFRESHING!"

"Hey!"

"Just because you have a crush on Ian, it doesn't mean that _I_..."

"I do NOT have a crush on Ian Kabra!"

"...of all the craziest...where's that review button?" Dan suddenly demanded. He took control of the mouse and clicked on one of the Natan stories. Then he clicked "review". A review box popped up, and he started typing furiously.  
>"This...is...Dan...Cahill..." he said out loud as he typed. "I...never...liked...Natalie...Kabra...and...I...never...will...period. Get...a...life...period. Sincerely...Dan...Cahill...comma...Ultimate...Ninja...period. Send."<p>

Dan sat back with satisfaction. "There," he said proudly.

Amy gave him an incredulous look. "You really don't expect them to believe you, do you?" she asked.

Dan looked at her. "Of course I do! Why wouldn't...oh, look! The author replied!" He clicked on the reply, and read it aloud:

"Dear 'Dan Cahill'," he started. "Huh. Wonder why she put my name in quotes."

Amy rolled he eyes. He just didn't get it.

Dan continued. "'We all have our opinions. You're obviously one of the types who doesn't think Natalie and Dan would go great with each other.'"

Dan stopped. "We're talking about _people _here!" he exclaimed. "This person's talking like she's matching a purse and shoes together or something!"

"Keep reading," Nellie said.

Amy looked at the screen and continued. "'I think that Natalie and Dan are perfect for each other, so lay off. It's none of your business.'"

"NONE OF MY BUISNESS?" Dan exploded. "NONE OF MY BUISNESS? I'M DAN CAHILL! That little..."

Amy continued. "'Sincerely, Amy Cahill (jk, you know what I mean).'"

Dan looked confused. "Huh?"

Amy sighed. "She's saying that if you're Dan Cahill, she's Amy Cahill."

Dan was still confused. "But she's _not _Amy Cahill. I mean, you."

Amy raised an eyebrow and waited. Slow realization dawned on Dan's face. "Ohhhh," he said. "She doesn't think I'm really Dan Cahill."

"Excellent work, Sherlock," Nellie said drily.

"Well, why would she think that?" Dan demanded. Amy sighed. Then her face brightened. "Let's read one!" she exclaimed.

Dan groaned. "Oh, no."

Amy clicked on a random story and began to read:

_Dan Cahill ran down the street to his school. He was going to be late._

"That's realistic enough," Nellie inturrupted.

"Hey, where am I?" Amy asked. She kept reading:

_He was walking to school alone that morning, because Amy was with..._

Amy started coughing violently.

"Just skip it," Nellie said over Amy's hacking. "Move on."

Amy stopped coughing and skipped the sentence. She continued:

_Dan got to school and went to homeroom. He was doodling in his notebook when someone walked in._

_"Hello," said a girl with a British accent._

_Dan looked up. Oh my god! he thought._

_It was Natalie Kabra!_

"Noooooo!" Dan moaned, collapsing onto his bed face-first. "Stop. Now. I beg you."

Amy scrolled down the page. "Blah, blah, blah...argue, argue, argue...you and Natalie argue a lot." She continued scanning the page. "Going home...uh, _awkward _moment with me and...never mind. Moving on...Dan's room, okay...whoa."

"What?" Dan and Nellie asked.

Amy read out loud:

_Dan and Natalie walked into Dan's room._

"What is _she_ doing in MY ROOM?"  
>"Shh!"<p>

_"So," Natalie said, "this is your room?"_

"No, duh."  
>"Shh!"<p>

_"Yeah," Dan said. They stood there in silence._

_Finally, Dan spoke._

"Yeah!" Dan exclaimed. "Kick her out, Dan! Barricade the doors and become a hermit!"

"Who are you talking to?" Nellie asked.

Dan stared blankly at her. He gestured lamely at the computer. "The, um...the story, I..._Dan_...me...him...uh, never mind."

Amy kept reading:

_"Natalie?" Dan said. "Yes?" she asked, looking at him._

_Dan locked his green eyes with her amber eyes. "I really..."_

"NOOOOO!"

"'...like you'," Amy continued mercilessly.

_"I like you too, Dan," Natalie said._

Amy stopped.

"Don't stop now!" Nellie exclaimed. "It was just getting good!"

Dan moaned, his face buried into his pillow.

Amy looked uncomfortable. "Well, I don't need to read it. But, they...uh, y'know..."

Nellie rolled her eyes and looked at the computer screen.

"Ah," she said.

Dan groaned louder.

"Are you okay?" Amy asked him.

Dan removed his face from the pillow long enough to say, "NO, I am _not _okay. My reputation is ruined!"

Nellie raised an eyebrow. "What reputation?"

Dan glared at her. "The one that doesn't involve me with...with...Natalie _Kabra_!"

"Oh. _That_ reputation."

"You know what we should do?" Amy said to Nellie.

"Print this out and hold it as blackmail for Dan?"

"No. I mean, yeah, we can do that too..."

"Hey!"

"...but we need to send the link to Natalie. I have her email address."

Dan jumped off the bed and threw himself over the computer's keyboard. "NOOOO!"

Amy grinned. "I have my own computer, you know."

"You send it to her," Dan threatened, "and I'll mail the Amian link to Ian."

Amy blanched. "On second thought..."

Dan opened his webmail. "I'm replying to Hamilton and asking him if he actually read these." He opened an email.

"Wait," Nellie said, "that's the email with the link to fictionforfans dot com that Hamilton sent you?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Nellie pointed to the receivers list. The email was sent not only to Dan, but to Amy, Nellie, Jonah Wizard, the Starlings, and...Ian and Natalie Kabra.

Dan and Amy looked at the screen, then at each other.

"AHHHHHH!"

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, this is my first one-shot. I think that I started writing it back when I started reading fanfictions. I was wondering how Dan and Amy would react if they read some of the stories that were written about them. Sort of like those stories that people write about the 39 Clues characters reading the books ((which, ironically, I never really enjoy that much)). <strong>

**I'd like to say a few things. As some of you might know, I am not a Natan fan. But even you Natan fans have to admit that Dan probably wouldn't react positively if someone suggested that he liked Natalie Kabra. So please don't picket outside my house or anything. If it makes you feel any better, I'm an Amian fan, and I didn't make Amy like her story any more than Dan liked his. Okay? **

**Another thing. The fanfictions written in this stories are completely of my own creation. They are not meant to resemble anyone else's story in any way. So, PLEASE, if my stories seem anything like yours, don't take offense in any way. It was not on purpose, I promise.**

**So I was trying to think of a combination of Reagan and Dan's names, and I was thinking that I could use the Reag- in Reagan's name, and the -an in Dan's name. Then I was like, WAIT! Then it would be _Reagan_!**

**I found that very interesting.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Now I'm starting to think that I'll write more chapters, from the other clue hunters' point of views. Hmmmm...so I guess I'll leave this "still in progress", for now.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-KT**

**P.S When I first published this, there were some problems with the italics and spacing. Hopefully, it will be better now.  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own the 39 Clues, Gucci, Prada, or personal maids named Fifi** **((I'll give you three guesses who _this _chapter's about)).**

* * *

><p>A scream ripped through the early morning silence of the Kabra mansion, causing the birds outside to fall out of their nests and the servants in the kitchen to run for cover.<p>

Ian burst into his sister's suite, his tie dangling loose around his neck and his dress shoes hanging from one hand. In his other hand he grasped a small revolver, which he held up as his amber eyes searched his sister's room, looking for the cause of the scream.

Not finding any rampaging gunmen, rabid rats, or fashion magazines that announced that Gucci just went out of style, Ian turned to his sister. "What on earth is the matter?" he demanded.

Natalie was sitting at her dressing table, a sleek laptop sitting on top. Her face was pale, and Ian followed her finger to where she was pointing at on the screen.

Ian furrowed his brow. "What's Natan? Some cheap new company competing with Prada?"

Natalie's eyes stayed glued to the screen. "Worse," she whispered hoarsely. "Much, much worse, Ian." She finally looked up at her brother. "Have you checked your email yet?"

Ian had spent most of the night before going through old recipes from former customers and haggling over art prices from various auctions. He had a staff meeting in twenty minutes, and was in no mood to play guessing games with his sister. "No. Why?"

Natalie turned back to her laptop. "Take a look," she said. "And stop waving around that gun like a madman. You look like a first-class idiot."

Ian suddenly realized he was still holding the revolver. He set it down on the dressing table and looked at the screen over Natalie's shoulder. "What website is that?"

"Fictionforfans dot com. Some little commoners website where people with no chance of publishing their own novels take the ideas of real authors and create their own stories."

Ian still didn't understand why she was so upset about this little loser website. "So why...?"

"These people," Natalie continued as if Ian hadn't spoke, "have the audacity to base their stories off of the books those Cahills authors wrote about the clue hunt, and have written stories about...about..." She covered her eyes. "I can't even say it," she whispered dramatically. "Just...look."

Ian gave his sister a strange look, wondering if she might have gotten a bit crazy in the head. He had always thought that all that purfume might do something to her mind after awhile.

Then he looked at the screen.

Natalie had obviously navigated away from a more central home page, and the screen now displayed a list of categories. The arrow was over one title, reading, "Natalie's Love Stories".

Ian snickered.

"It's not funny!" Natalie cried out. "I'm afraid to look!"

Ian took the mouse and navigated it towards the first link, titled "Natilton".

"Ian! No! That didn't mean I wanted YOU to read it!"

"Pity," Ian said, ignoring her protests and clicking on the link.

"NO! IAN!" Natalie shrieked as the Natilton page popped up.

"Hm," Ian murmured, scrolling down the list of stories, "which shall we read first?"

"Ian Kabra, I swear, you click any one of those stories and I'll..."

Ian clicked on a story.

"IIIIIIAAAAAANNNNNN!" Natalie whined.

Ian began to read:

_Natalie Kabra spun around in front of the mirror, wanting to see her wedding dress from every angle._

"WEDDING DRESS?" Natalie shrieked.

"Of course," Ian said, thoroughly amused by all of this. "Can't have a wedding without a wedding dress, now can you?"

Natalie glared at him. "I was reacting to the fact that I'm apparently getting married, you idiot! To whom am I getting married?"

"Why don't you let me continue reading, and perhaps you will find out."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"KEEP READING!"

_There was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" Natalie asked._  
><em>"It's..."<em>

Ian faltered a little, then continued, "...Amy." Natalie snickered at the look on his face.

_"Come in!" Natalie called._  
><em>Amy entered the room. She and Natalie had become good friends since the clue hunt, and she was now married to...<em>

Ian cleared his throat. "Er, mind if I skip this part?"

"Yes, I MIND!" Natalie pushed her brother out of the way and continued reading aloud:

_...and she was now married to Natalie's brother, Ian._

Natalie looked at Ian, who reddened. He coughed once, then said, "I'll keep reading."

_Amy looked at Natalie. "Wow, Nat," she said. "You look great."_

_Natalie blushed. "Thanks," she said._

_Amy patted her hand. "I hope you two are as happy as Ian and I are together," she said._

_Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. "Can I come in?" came a voice._

_"No!" Amy yelled. "Go away, Dan!"_

_"Okay, okay!" Dan called back. "Just wanted to tell Natalie that Hamilton says that he loves you and he'll see you at the altar."_

* * *

><p>Fifi, Natalie's personal maid, ran into the room. "Miss Natalie?" she asked. "Is everything okay? I heard a loud thump!"<p>

Natalie was lying on the floor, seemingly unconscious. Ian was kneeling over her, gently slapping her cheeks. He looked up as Fifi entered the room. "Don't just stand there staring like an idiot! Get some smelling salts!"

Fifi backed out of the room, and Ian could hear her footsteps disappearing down the hall. She quickly returned with some smelling salts, which Ian snatched out of her hand and waved under his sister's nose.

Natalie groaned, and her eyes fluttered. "Ian?" she murmured, eyes half shut.

"What?"

Natalie's eyes slowly opened, and she struggled to sit up.

"Ian...I...I just had an awful dream. You were there, and we were reading this story..."

"Natalie..."

"...and it said I was getting married. And you were there, you were married to Amy Cahill, and then..."

"Natalie..."

"...Daniel Cahill came in and he said that I..."

"Natalie..."

"...was getting married to...to..."

"NATALIE!"

Natalie looked up at him. "What?"

"That wasn't a dream. We were really reading that story."

Natalie stared at him. "You mean, that story really was...ohhh..." She swayed a little where she sat, looking like she might faint again.

Ian grabbed her shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself, Natalie!" he demanded. "It was just a story."

Natalie shuddered. "But to think...that someone could even insinuate that I would ever..." She closed her eyes and leaned back against her bed, looking slightly green.

Ian looked up at Fifi, who was still standing there, staring at the siblings. "Stop gaping!" Ian ordered. "You look like a goldfish with your mouth hanging open like that." He stood up and waved a hand at the maid. "Now get out of here."

Fifi quickly made her escape, shutting the door behind her.

Ian turned to his sister. "Natalie, I am ashamed of you," he said. "Letting some riff-raff's fictional story about you get into your head." He took a hold of her shoulders. "You are Natalie Kabra. You are eleven years old. You are not getting married any time soon, and when you do, it will be to some rich blue blood who is only marrying you for your money."

This seemed to make Natalie feel a little better.

Ian scoffed at his sister. "Really, I'm surprised at you. I would never let some trivial story like that get to me."

Natalie glared up at him. "No? Well, we'll see about that." She shakily got to her feet, and made her way to her laptop.

"What are you doing?" Ian asked suspiciously.

After clicking some keys, she smiled and said, "Well, well, well, what do we have here?"

Ian, who was still standing by her bed, looked at her somewhat warily. "What? What is it?"

"They have a whole category devoted to Ian's Love Stories." Natalie looked at him. "Does that bother you at all?"

Ian's face remained impassive. "Not in the slightest."

Natalie clicked on the link, and a few categories popped up. "There are categories for stories. Do you know what these titles are? They're mash-ups of your name and the names of certain females." Natalie glanced at Ian, who gave a noncommittal shrug.

Natalie, becoming a tad impatient, began to read the titles aloud, "Reagian, Madian, Sinian...oh, look at this!"

"What? What is it?" Ian exclaimed. Natalie looked at him, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I mean, er, not that I really care."

Natalie gave him a devious smile. "There's this one category...interesting, it seems to have the most hits out of all of the categories."

Ian rolled his eyes. Natalie seemed to be enjoying making him wait in suspense.

Finally, not getting any more reactions from Ian, Natalie said, "The category is...Amian."

Although Ian was borderline genius, it took him a moment to process the mix-up of names. Once he did, however, it took all of his willpower to dash across the room and look at those stories.

Instead, he bit his tongue and said, "Really? That's...nice."

Natalie glared at her brother. "Come now, Ian," she said. "Don't hold back. These people have no right writing stories about someone like you even associating with someone like Amy Cahill."

"Oh, is that who the stories are about? I didn't realize."

Natalie looked at him suspiciously. "I'm sure you didn't," she said slowly. "Anyway, you wouldn't mind if I read one, would you?"

"Not a bit," Ian said through gritted teeth. He looked at his watch. "Unfortunately, I have a meeting in five minutes, so I really should be..."

"Your meeting is in ten minutes, Ian. Take a seat."

Ian begrudgingly sat down at the foot of his sister's queen-sized bed.

Natalie clicked on the first story and began to read:

_Amy Cahill walked to school with her boyfriend, Hamilton Holt._

"WHAT?"

Natalie raised an eyebrow at her brother. Ian cleared his throat. "I mean, er, that's an interesting way to begin a story."

"I suppose..." Natalie gave him a strange look and continued reading:

_Suddenly, someone appeared in front of them._

_"Get lost, Cobra," Hamilton snarled, putting an arm around Amy. "She's MY girlfriend now."_

_Ian looked at Amy. "Amy, please, just let me talk to you," he begged._

_"Y-you've g-g-given m-me e-enough r-r-reason n-n-not t-to t-trust y-y-you," Amy stammered._

"She doesn't stutter that much."

"Why do you even take notice of something like that?"

"I don't."

"Of course you don't."

_Ian reached for Amy's hand. "Amy, please, I'm sorry for everything I've done. I love you."_

_Amy smiled at him. "I love you too, Ian."_

_"NO!" Hamilton yelled. He punched Ian in the face._

"How DARE he!" Ian exclaimed.

Natalie gave her brother a flat look. "Ian. It's just a story."

Ian reddened. "Right, then. Carry on."

_Ian sprawled to the ground._

_"No!" Amy screamed, running at Hamilton to stop him from hurting Ian any more. Hamilton pushed her aside and ran off._

_Amy fell down from being pushed by Hamilton, and she crawled over to where Ian lay. "Are you okay?" she asked him._

_Ian smiled at her. "I'm fine," he said. "Let's go ride in my limo."_

_"Okay!"_

_Six years later, they got married, had two kids named Cindy and Gerald, Natalie and Amy became best friends, and they all lived happily ever after._

The Kabras fell to the floor, cracking up.

"Me...me and Amy Cahill? Best friends?" Natalie giggled. "That's rich!"

Ian chuckled. "This story is ridiculous!"

"I know!"

"I mean, I would never name my son Gerald!"

Natalie looked at her brother. "That's it? That's what you consider the strangest thing about this story?"

Ian shrugged. "Well, the part about you and Amy becoming friends _is_a bit of a stretch, but..."

"Ian! You consider marrying Amy Cahill NORMAL?" Natalie shrieked.

Ian suddenly realized the hole he had dug himself into. "No, no, of course not!" he said. "The whole story is ridiculous! Pure folly! Disgraceful!"

Natalie nodded. "Much better."

Ian continued, "How could they even hint at the fact that I would ever want to marry Amy Cahill? It's absurd!"

"Ian..."

"Of all the crazy ideas..."

"Um, Ian...?"

"This person needs a serious reality check..."

"Ian!"

"What?"

"Don't you have a meeting in three minutes?"

Ian looked at his watch and jumped to his feet. "Oh, god, you're right!" He dashed to the door, knotting his tie as he went.

"Ian?"

"What?"

Natalie held up his revolver that he had left of her dressing table.

Ian went back to retrieve his gun. "Well, good thing none of the other people who were on the clue hunt read these. It's hard enough reading them yourself, but knowing that others read them..."

Natalie grew pale.

"What? What's wrong?" Ian's eyes widened. "Natalie...how did you come across that website?"

Natalie looked up at him and said in a hoarse whisper, "Hamilton Holt sent it to me."

Ian closed his eyes. "And who else did he send it to?"

Natalie turned to the laptop and opened her webmail to check.

* * *

><p>Two screams erupted in the early morning stillness of the Kabra mansion, causing the birds outside, who had just flown back into their nests, to fall out again, and the servants in the kitchen, who had just begun to work up the nerve to crawl out from their hiding spots, to dive back under again.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>So I kept my promise and wrote a chapter two. I plan on writing more chapters from the other clue-hunters' points of view. I just hope they aren't all too similar to previous chapters.<strong>

**Okay, I said this before, and I'll say it again; I did not base any of the fanfictions in this story on any existing fanfictions. Yes, I may have used situations that have been used by multiple authors, but I haven't in any way used any specific story to base my stories on. I was really surprised when not one, but two people thought that one of my stories in the first chapter was based on War Hawks by SugarQueen8490, which is kind of freaky because A. My story involved Amy jumping off of a mountain, not out of an airplane, B. In my story, Ian didn't really have wings, he had a parachute ((I think that might've been what threw some people)), C. A lot of other things that were different. I actually hadn't read War Hawks** **for a few months, and I went back to read it and was like, "What? How is this like my story?" But I actually do like War Hawks. If you like the 39 Clues and Maximum Ride, you should read it!**

**Anyway.**

**So any resemblance you see in my stories to any other stories, active or expired, is purely coincidental.**

**Random thing that happened to me yesterday: I was watching T.V., and this British lady with dark hair came on in one of those insurance commercials, and I screamed really loud. So my mom ran into the room and was like, "What happened?" And I look at her and yell, "ISABEL KABRA'S TRYING TO SELL ME INSURANCE!"**

**My mother was not very amused.**

**So please, R&R! Let me know who you want the next chapter to be about! Also, if you want anything specific to happen in any of the fanfictions the Cahills read.**

**Until the next chapter,**

**-KT**


	3. Chapter 3

Madison burst into her older brother's room. "Ham, have you seen my soccer ball...?"

"What have I told you about _knocking_?" Hamilton bellowed, spinning around in his desk chair.

"Why, you writing love emails or something?"

"NO!" Hamilton quickly tried to close the window on his computer screen.

Madison dashed across the room and shouldered him to the side. "What's fictionforfans dot com?"

"Nothing! It's nothing!"

"Hey, is that my name?"

"No! Go away!"

Madison ignored her older brother. "That _is_ my name! Madison Holt! Why is my name here?"

Hamilton sighed. "It's a...a fan site. For the books the Cahill authors wrote."

"Cool," Madison said. "So people, like, wrote about me?"

Hamilton scratched the back of his head. "Yeah..."

"Sweet!" Madison clicked on the link.

"Dude, you have your own computer."

"Whatever. What's this...? Madison's...MADISON'S LOVE STORIES?" Madison glared at her brother. "What's this about?"

"Don't look at me! I didn't make the site!"

"But who...I mean, what...?" Madison couldn't seem to be able to grasp the right words.

Hamilton grinned for the first time his sister entered the room. "Let's find out." He clicked on the link.

A list of names popped up. Madison recognized the concept of the scrambled names immediately. "Dadison...Jonadison...Madian...Tedison...Nedison..." Madison looked like she was going to be sick.

Hamilton started cracking up.

Madison grew angry. "Oh, you think this is funny?" She punched him on the shoulder, which only made him laugh harder.

Madison realized she would have to change to different methods of revenge. She took control of the mouse again and clicked back two pages, until she was on the character page again.

She clicked on "Hamilton Holt".

Hamilton stopped laughing immediately. "Okay, Madi, that's enough. Leave. Now."

Madison ignored him, clicking on the next link titled, HAMILTON'S LOVE STORIES.

"MADISON! STOP!"

Hamilton wrestled her for the mouse, and Madison won. She clicked on the first link before her brother could stop her.

"Look-ee here!" she giggled. "Sinilton. Wonder who that could be about?" She clicked on the first story.

Hamilton thought for a moment. Sinilton...? Suddenly, its meaning became clear.

"WHAT?" he yelled.

Madison cackles with glee, and read aloud from the middle of the story:

_Hamilton went to find Sinead._

_He finally found her standing by the dessert table. She was standing by a blueberry pie and rambling off what seemed to Hamilton to be random numbers._  
><em>"...3.14159265..."<em>

_Hamilton ambled up to her and slipped an arm around her waist. "What're you doing?"_

_Sinead looked up, looking distracted. "Oh, hi, sweetheart," she said, kissing him._

"WHAT?"

"Hamilton, shut up and let me read your love story."

Hamilton stood up. "I'm not listening to this," he grumbled. He left the room.

"Spoilsport!" Madison yelled after him. She turned back to the screen and kept reading.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Madison heard laughter coming from her and Reagan's room. Curiosity overruling her desire to read stories from the Hamy category, she got up and headed for her room.<p>

Opening the door a crack, Madison could see Hamilton and Reagan sitting in front of Reagan's laptop. Reagan was reading out loud:

_"...but I don't know," Madison said softly. "I really like you, but things are so complicated right now."_

_"We can work things out," he replied, taking her hands in his. "I need you, Madison. You help me think through the pain."_

"WHAT?" Madison screeched, throwing open the door. "Ned Starling?"

Reagan and Hamilton whirled around, slightly guilty expressions on their faces. They looked at each other, and they burst out laughing.

"Serves—serves you right," Hamilton gasped, cracking up. "I TOLD you not to read those stories about me."

"But...but...but..." Madison stammered, unable to get the words out.

"You make a cute couple, Madi," Reagan choked out, her shoulders shaking with laughter.

"COME ON!" Madison exploded. "ME AND NED STARLING?" She struggled for words. "But he's so...so..._smart_. And I'm so...so..."

"Dumb?" Reagan suggested.

Madison glared at her sister. "You're asking for it, sis."

Reagan's eyes lit up. "Bring it..._Mrs. Starling_."

"AHHHHHH!" Madison yelled, launching herself at her sister.

"AHHHHHH!" Reagan yelled, ducking her sister's attack.

"AHHHHHH!" Hamilton yelled, jumping out of Madison's path.

But instead of turning and running at her sister again, Madison sat calmly at the computer. Before Reagan could do anything, her twin was back three pages to the characters list. She clicked on the "Reagan" link, then the REAGAN'S LOVE STORIES link.

Reagan stepped forward cautiously. "What're you...?" She looked over her sister's shoulder and saw the list of stories pop up. "WAIT! NO!" She dropped to her knees. "Madison, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't read those..."

Madison ignored her, grinning devilishly as she clicked the "Deagan" link.

Reagan's mind whirled. "Deagan? Who's..." Her face grew pale. "NO WAY! WHAT? NO! MADISON! STOP! AUGH!" She tackled her twin to the floor.

Madison and Reagan grappled on the floor. "HAMILTON!" she shrieked to her brother. "READ THE STORY!"

Hamilton, who was staying neutral and just doing what he wanted, jumped to the computer.

"NO!" Reagan screamed as Madison pinned her to the floor.

Hamilton began to read aloud:

_Reagan Holt sighed as she stared at the picture in her hand. It was a surveillance photo taken by Tomas field agents, which she had managed to print from the Tomas database._

_It was a picture of Dan Cahill._

"NOOOOOOO!"

"Keep reading, Ham!" Madison yelled over her sister's cries. "I don't know how much longer I can hold her!"

Hamilton kept reading:

_Reagan sighed again. She hadn't seen Dan since the clue hunt ended, and she had an empty feeling inside that she couldn't fill no matter what she did._

_Madison walked into the room, took one look at her sister, and said, "Are you still drooling over that picture of Dan Cahill?"_

_Reagan looked up and quickly stuffed the picture behind her. "No!"_

_"Mm-hm," Madison said, not buying it. "I don't even know what you see in him. He's nothing like my boyfriend, Ian."_

"Haha!" Madison laughed. "You like Da—wait, WHAT?" She looked at her brother. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"'I don't even know what you see in him. He's nothing like my boyfriend, Ian'," Hamilton repeated with a straight face. He made a face. "Those two sentences are never going to come out of my mouth again."

Madison screamed. Reagan kept screaming. Hamilton started cracking up.

Mary-Todd Holt stepped into the room. "Is everything okay in here?" she asked.

The three kids looked up innocently. "Yes, mom," they said in unison.

Mary-Todd looked over them once more, then left the room again.

Reagan glared up at her sister. "Get. Off. Of. Me," she said through gritted teeth.

Madison wasn't listening to her. "IAN _KABRA_?"

"No, Ian Spotts, the mailman. YES, IAN KABRA!" Hamilton started laughing again.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"DON'T READ ANY MORE!"

Hamilton turned back to the computer again.

"NO!" the twins screamed together. Madison jumped up, and Reagan, now released from her bondage, rolled and leapt to her feet. They both tackled Hamilton, knocking him away from the computer.

The three siblings rolled around on the floor, arms and legs flailing everywhere. Then, suddenly:

"WAIT!" Reagan yelled.

The other two froze and looked at her.

Reagan sat up. "Why are we fighting about this?" she asked. "It's obvious that none of us wants our stories to be read, so let's just agree not to read them."

Madison, who's fist was only an inch away from Hamilton's nose, said, "But fighting's fun!"

Reagan glared at her.

Madison blew a piece of hair out of her face. "FINE." She rolled her eyes and muttered, "Those Madrigals are really getting to you with their whole _peace _idea..."

The twins looked at their older brother.

"Okay, okay," Hamilton said.

"And can we all promise never to tell any other Cahill about this website?" Reagan asked. "I promise."

"I promise," Madison said.

The twins looked at their older brother.

But instead of promising, the color drained from his face.

"Ham?" Reagan asked. Madison unclenched her fist and waved her hand in front of her brother's eyes.

Hamilton looked at them. "Well...um...before I read any of the stories, I kind of...er...."

The twins were used to understanding Hamilton when he spoke at hyper speed. But this time they wished they had heard him wrong. "What?" Madison asked.

"I sent the link to the other kids from the hunt."

Reagan and Madison exchanged a look, turned back to their brother, and punched him in the face.

* * *

><p>And all around the globe, Cahill kids from the clue hunt were receiving the email from Hamilton, leading them to the website.<p>

By that same time the next day, Dan Cahill and Natalie Kabra had already opened and shared the fateful email with their siblings (and au pair). But a few more of those emails still sat unread in inboxes, and were about to be opened...

* * *

><p><strong>Cliff-hanger! Who will be next? It's up to you, boys and girls. Review and vote for who should open the email next! What couples should they read about? KTRose12 needs YOU! *points finger at the computer screen*<strong>

**Response to Reviews:**

**goddess of lakes: I hope "!" is a good thing.**

**Ninja123Paramore: Tell her to read it and try not laughing! Just kidding. Don't. Seriously. But glad you like it!**

**.LUVSNICO1: Your wish is my command. *POOF!* WISH GRANTED!**

**Madrigrl39: Your wish=My command. *POOF* GRANTED! Although I never actually said HOW he found it...hope it's good, anyway...**

**Evanscence456: Whoo-hoo! Thank you for laughing!**

**SqueakyDolphin6: I know Ian's jealousy is really cliche and overdone, but I couldn't help putting a little in. I just read the Medusa Plot, and...GAH! NO SPOILERS! NEVER MIND!**

**IJustCan'tChoose: I did Ham/Sinead. Sorry it's so short, but I hope it's satisfying.  
><strong>

**JanusGirl101: Yay! I love it when I write IC!**

**Everyone who reviewed: Thank you times infinity! You people are the best!**

**Again, review and tell me what people you want to read about what pairings next!**

**Until the next update,**

**-KT**


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own the 39 Clues or Chinese food, although I love both!**

* * *

><p>Sinead Starling sighed as she sat down at her laptop. 124 new messages. Oh, joy.<p>

She scrolled down past spam and junk and forwards from people she never talked to anymore. Suddenly, something caught her eye. She clicked on the email, then on the link. The website came up, and she gasped.

* * *

><p>Ned Starling walked into his sister's room a few minutes later. "Sis, we need more aspirin. Someone used up the last of it."<p>

"Someone?" his twin brother Ted asked, coming in behind Ned. "You, most likely."

"Someone, me, whatever. Sinead? Sineeeaaad?" Ned waved a hand in front of his sister's face. "What are you looking at?"

Sinead looked up. "This website! I got the link in an email, and it's...well...take a look."

"No thanks, I'll pass," Ted said drily, rolling his unseeing eyes.

Ned looked over his sister's shoulder. "Whoa, cool!"

"What is it?" asked Ted.

"Baby animal videos," Ned read aloud from the title at the top of the page.

"Aren't they so cute?" his sister exclaimed.

"Adorable," Ted agreed sarcastically, annoyed that he couldn't see what his siblings were looking at.

Ned's eyes flickered away from the baby animal videos to Sinead's webmail, which was open in another window on the side of the screen. "Hey, you've got an email from Hamilton Holt," he noticed.

"Sinead's got a boyfriend, Sinead's got a boyfriend..."

"TED. SHUT _UP_."

Ned snickered, high-fiving his brother.

Sinead rolled her eyes. "I can't see how two geniuses like you two manage to act so juvenile," she muttered, clicking on the email from Hamilton.

The message popped up.

"What does it say?" Ted asked, hearing the click of the mouse.

"Just some link he sent out. I'm not going to waste my time with email from a Tomas." Sinead pushed back from her desk and stood up. "I'm going to the drug store to pick up some aspirin and dinner. Don't blow up the kitchen while I'm gone." She headed out the door, her brothers protests following her down the hall.

"That was only once!"

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later (and thirty dollars poorer), Sinead returned home carrying Chinese takeout in three plastic bags. "I'm home!" she called, slamming the door shut behind her with her foot.<p>

The house was silent.

"Guys?" Sinead walked into the kitchen, relieved to see it still in one piece. "Ned! Ted! It's your darling sister calling you!"

Still no answer.

Sinead sighed. "I brought Chinese food!"

"I CALL THE CHICKEN LO MEIN!"

"FINE, BUT DON'T HOG THE WONTONS THIS TIME!"

The two brothers dashed into the kitchen. Ned stopped short in front of Sinead, and Ted crashed into him.

"Oww. The blind guy would like a little warning next time, please." Ted rubbed his head.

Sinead crossed her arms. "What were you two doing in there that was so quiet?"

Ned glanced at his brother. "Um...sleeping?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling you. Definitely."

Sinead stared at her brothers through squinted eyes. Finally, she said, "Fine. Let's eat before the food gets cold."

Five minutes later, the triplets were sitting at the table, sticking chopsticks into the white paper containers.

"So..." Sinead said, spearing a wonton on her chopstick, "...I know you guys weren't sleeping. What were you up to?"

Ned looked at Ted again. Ted felt his brother's eyes on him and shrugged.

Finally, Ned sighed. He stood up from the table and left the room.

Sinead sent a questioning look at Ted, who just stared blankly into space.

A minute later, Ned was back holding a pillowcase. Wrapped in the pillowcase was Sinead's laptop. He put the laptop down on the table in front of his sister.

Sinead looked up at him, her eyes blazing. "What...have I told you...about touching my laptop?" she asked coldly.

Ned and Ted sighed, then recited, "Never touch your laptop. Your laptop should never be touched by hands other than your own. If either of us touch your laptop, it will result in immediate death followed by unimaginable torture."

"SO _WHY _ARE YOU TOUCHING MY LAPTOP?"

"I wasn't. See?" Ned held up the pillowcase that he had been using to hold the laptop. "I was touching the pillowcase, not the laptop. Wasn't that smart?"

"You must be a genius," Sinead remarked drily.

"Show her the site, Ned," Ted pressed.

Ned opened the laptop, and the screen lit up, showing the home page of a website. Sinead read the address in the search bar. "Fictionforfans dot net? What's that?"

"It's the website Hamilton Holt sent you," Ted explained.

"YOU READ MY EMAILS?" Sinead shrieked.

"No, not me...obviously. Ned did, though."

Sinead glared at Ned, who looked back at her innocently.

"Click on the Books link," Ted persisted.

Sinead begrudgingly did as he said.

"And now the 39 Clues link."

Sinead gave a start. "The 39 Clues link? What?" She found the link and clicked it, revealing a list of names. "Amy Cahill...Reagan Holt...Sinead—SINEAD STARLING?" Sinead whipped around to face her brothers. "What _is_this?"

She could tell that Ned was holding back laughter. "It's stories. Stories people wrote about us—based on the books about the Hunt those Cahill authors wrote."

"And they wrote about...ME?"

"I know, hard to imagine, right?"

Sinead whacked Ned on the arm.

"OW! That was Ted, not me!"

Sinead whacked Ted on the arm.

"OW! Don't hit a cripple!"

"I'll make you both even more crippled if you keep it up," Sinead muttered, felling peeved. She didn't like the idea of people she knew writing about her, let alone people she didn't know at all writing about her.

"We found this one category very interesting," Ned said, clicking on the Sinead link and scrolling down the page.

Sinead read the title of the category, and her face blanched.

* * *

><p>"Henry, did you hear that?" Sylvia Storm stood by the window of her house, which sat across the street from the Starling residence.<p>

"No, dear, didn't hear a thing," Henry Storm said to his wife, adjusting his hearing aid and turning the page of his paper.

"I thought I heard someone scream," Sylvia said worriedly, looking out the window across the street.

"Sylvia, stop being a busybody and make me my dinner," Henry said. "I'm sure it was nothing, just one of those crazy kids across the street setting off a bottle rocket or something."

"Alright, Henry." With one last glance out the window, Sylvia went back to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>"AIIIIIIIIIIII!"<p>

"SINEAD, STOP SCREAMING!" Ted yelled. "THE NEIGHBORS ARE GOING TO THINK SOMEONE'S BEING MURDERED IN HERE!"

Sinead paused to take a breath, then opened her mouth to let out another scream. Ned quickly slapped his hand over her mouth.

"You're going to give me another headache," he said. "Stop."

Sinead nodded slowly, and he removed his hand from her mouth.

Slowly, Sinead sat down again. She had leapt to her feet when she had seen the title of the category: SINEAD'S LOVE STORIES.

"Who would write such a thing?" she said hoarsely, staring at the link.

Ned's evil scientist grin appeared on his face. "Let's see." He clicked on the link.

Sinead covered her eyes. Then she peeked between her fingers. She really didn't want to read these stories, but her scientific curiosity got the better than her.

Several more links had popped up.

"What on Earth is this?" Ned asked. "Jonead...Sinian...Sinilton." Ned looked at the others. "What the heck is a Sinilton? And what does it have to do with Sinead's love stories?"

"_Fictional _love stories," Sinead corrected.

The three geniuses were perplexed. It was Ted, though, who finally figured it out. Maybe it was because he couldn't see the words, so the sounds made more sense to him. Or maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't Sinead, who was too unnerved by all of this to concentrate, or Ned, who was the closest to Sinead and the most likely get whacked by her again, and therefore wasn't concentrating much, either.

Whatever the reason, the meanings finally hit Ted, and he began to laugh.

Ned and Sinead stared at their brother, wondering if he had lost it.

"What?" Sinead asked. "What is it?"

Ted snickered. "It's a scramble. Your name...and the names of guys. Guys from the clue hunt."

Sinead slowly turned back to the screen. "That means..."

* * *

><p>Sylvia Storm burst into the sitting room again. "I KNOW I heard something that time!" she exclaimed, rushing to the window.<p>

Henry turned the page of his newspaper again. "You say something, dear?"

Sylvia stared at the house across the street. "It's those Starlings, I know it. I've always known there was something fishy about those folks. Now all these screams are coming from the house, and I for one—"

"Sylvia, it's none of your business," Henry said calmly, snapping his newspaper authoritatively. "Now go check on your roast before you burn it."

Sylvia peeked out the window once more, then, with a sigh, went back to the kitchen.

"AIIIIIIIII—" Ned slapped his hand over his sister's mouth again, stopping her mid-scream.

Ted was chuckling with glee. "Is someone getting this on video?" he asked.

Ned watched his sister warily, waiting until she seemed calmed down enough for him to remove his hand.

Sinead wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I hope your hand's clean," she spat, glaring at her brother

Ned ignored her and clicked on the link with the most hits—Sinilton.

"These people," Sinead muttered, "have strange and twisted minds. How could they think that...that Neanderthal and I..." She shuddered.

"Hey, look on the bright side, sis," Ned said. "Maybe this category isn't about Hamilton Holt at all." He clicked on the first story, and began reading the first one aloud:

_Sinead Starling cautiously stepped through the doors. She didn't want to attend the Cahill Ball, but her brothers had forced her._  
><em>Ned and Ted were standing on either side of their sister. They were both dressed in identical tuxedos, and looked identically uncomfortable.<em>

Sinead snickered. "Ha, ha, you two have to dress nicely."

_Sinead was dressed in a floor-length, strapless yellow gown. Her auburn hair was swept up and piled on top of her head, and she was wearing yellow heels. On her face she was wearing a small yellow mask._

"Ha, ha," Ted interrupted, "you have to look like a girl."

"Shut up."

_She had a purse in one hand, in which, not knowing what else to put in a purse besides her keys and a chapstick, she had stuffed a blueprint for a new machine she was working on._  
><em>Ned and Ted quickly left their sister to search for the refreshments table. Sinead stood alone by the wall, watching her extended family waltzing on the dance floor.<em>  
><em>She caught sight of Hamilton Holt standing several meters away from her, surveying the crowd. He looked unusually handsome in a dark tuxedo with his blond hair combed back.<em>

"Aw, it's Sinead's wittle Hammy!" Ted cooed.

"SHUT UP!"

_They locked eyes. Hamilton's eyes widened, and he made his way to Sinead._  
><em>"Hey, I'm Hamilton. Tomas. What's your name?"<em>  
><em>He doesn't recognize me, Sinead realized, touching her mask. She made a quick decision, and said, "Christine. Janus."<em>  
><em>Hamilton stared at her for another minute, then grinned. "D'you want to dance?" he asked her.<em>  
><em>"Okay."<em>

Ned stopped.

"Is that the end?" Sinead asked hopefully.

"Nah, page break," Ned explained. "The next part is about Amy Cahill. Hang on, I'm scrolling down."

He scrolled down the page until he reached another page break. "Okay, here you are again," he said, then continued:

_Hamilton and Sinead danced for a whole hour before they went outside for some fresh air._  
><em>They stood out in the semi-darkness, the music from inside drowned out by the crickets.<em>  
><em>"I had a good time dancing with you, Hamilton," Sinead said.<em>  
><em>"Me too, Christine," he said. He stared at her for a minute. "You look so familiar..."<em>  
><em>Sinead looked away. She didn't want to tell him who she was.<em>  
><em>"Please," Hamilton begged. "I know your name isn't really Christine. I need to know who you are. I want..." He trailed off, staring into her eyes, then leaned in.<em>  
><em>He's going to kiss me, Sinead thought. She closed her eyes.<em>

"Ew."

Ned and Ted began laughing hysterically.

"This is ridiculous. Why are you wasting your time reading this?" Sinead angrily speared a wonton with her chopsticks.

"Keep reading!" Ted urged, ignoring his sister.

Ned continued reading:

_Suddenly, Sinead heard her name being called in the distance._  
><em>"Sinead?"<em>  
><em>"Sinead, where are you?"<em>  
><em>Ned and Ted! She couldn't let Hamilton see her with them, he'd know immediately who she was. And she didn't want that. Not yet.<em>  
><em>Sinead took a step back. "I-I have to go," she stammered.<em>  
><em>Hamilton grabbed her arm. "Don't leave. Please!"<em>  
><em>Her brothers' voices were getting closer.<em>  
><em>Sinead felt tears pooling in her eyes. "I'm sorry." She pulled her arms away and ran in the other direction.<em>  
><em>Hamilton stood dumbstruck, not knowing what to do. Finally, he did the first thing his brain came up with; run.<em>  
><em>He dashed after Sinead, wishing he knew her name so he could call after her.<em>  
><em>Sinead found her brothers out front, waiting for her by the car. She dug into her purse and pulled out her car keys, not noticing the blueprint falling out of her purse and landing on the ground.<em>  
><em>Ned and Ted climbed into the car, and Sinead moved around to the driver's door.<em>  
><em>Hamilton came dashing around the house. "Wait!" he called, catching sight of her.<em>  
><em>Turning away, Sinead closed the door of the car, turned on the engine, and quickly drove away.<em>  
><em>Hamilton stood at the curb, watching the car drive into the distance. He suddenly noticed something by his foot, and picked it up.<em>  
><em>It was the blueprint of some strange machine Hamilton didn't recognize. There was no name on it, but Hamilton knew it was hers.<em>  
><em>And he was going to use it to find her.<em>

"Oh. My. God."

Ned and Ted turned to their sister. "What?" they asked together.

Sinead rolled her eyes. "That is SO cliche! I can tell you what happens next—he spreads the word, saying that he's looking for the Cahill girl who can tell him what the machine on the blueprint is, hoping to find the girl. Meanwhile, Sinead—"

"You," Ned corrected.

"—is afraid to tell him, because she's afraid he won't accept he for who she is. And so Ned and Ted—"

"Us," Ted amended.

"—somehow see the blueprint and recognize it as Sinead's, so they go and tell Hamilton, and he goes and sweeps Sinead—"

"YOU!" the brothers said together.

"—off her feet, and they ride into the sunset in his Hummer. The end."

"Hey, Sinead, you should get a fictionforfans account," Ned said, impressed.

Sinead glared at them. "You two think this is hilarious, don't you?"

"A bit," Ted admitted, snickering.

Sinead narrowed her eyes. "We'll see how funny you think these stories are when I'm done here," she murmured, taking the mouse and clicking back two pages. She clicked on the Ned Starling link.

"Don't waste your time," Ned said airily. "There's not going to be any love stories for—

"Ha!" Sinead pointed to the screen. "Ned's Love Stories."

Ned dropped his chopsticks. "WHAT?"

Ted snickered again. "Read them, Sinead."

"With pleasure." The Ekat girl clicked on the link, then scrolled down through the categories, reading them aloud. "Okay, first we have Nataned...not a lot in that...a few more Aned...quite a bit more Nedison...and about the same amount for Neagan." Sinead paused. "I wonder..." She opened a new tab and quickly navigated to the 39 Clues characters page. She clicked on Ted Starling.

"What's she doing now?" Ted asked his brother.

"She just clicked on your name."

"WHAT?"

Sinead clicked on Ted's Love Stories. "Tedalie...Tamy...yup. Same amount; Tedison and Teagan."

"Wait, what?"

"Are you saying..."

"Us and the HOLTS?" they exclaimed together.

Sinead smirked. "Oh, _now_you have a problem with a Starling and a Holt."

"With you, it's funny," Ned explained.

"But us with...Madison and Reagan?" Ted made a face. "They're, like, five years younger than us."

"Three," Sinead corrected.

"STILL!"

"I think it's cute!" Sinead cooed. "The twins and the twins."

Ned stared blankly at her. Ted's face was equally blank.

Sinead shrugged. "What?" Then she grinned. "I want to read them!"

"WHY?" Ned exclaimed.

"So you can go through the mortification I had to go through when you read my story."

"That makes sense," Ted reasoned. Ned whacked him on the shoulder.

"OW! WHY IS EVERYONE HITTING THE CRIPPLE?"

Sinead clicked on a story in the Neagan category. She began to read:

_Ned Starling walked down the street, checking over his shoulder every few seconds. Next to him, Ted was walking slowly, tapping his cane in front of him._

"I don't have a cane!" Ted protested.

_They stopped at the corner and looked around. The street was deserted. Ned checked his Spiderman watch and saw that it was only a few minutes to nine._  
><em>The others should be there soon.<em>

"I don't have a Spiderman watch!" Ned exclaimed.

"Spiderman, Superman, what's the difference?" Sinead chortled.

"It was the Green Lantern, and I haven't worn that watch since I was ten!"

Sinead ignored him and kept reading:

_Suddenly, two figures appeared at the end of the street. The Starlings' faces broke into identical grins._  
><em>The two figures finally reached them.<em>  
><em>"Hey, Ned," Reagan Holt said shyly.<em>  
><em>"Hi, Reagan," Ned said, grinning. They turned to their siblings, who were already kissing by the wall of the building.<em>

"WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!"

"TED, STOP YELLING!"

Ted's face was bright red. "NO!" he yelled at his sister. "I will NOT stop yelling!"

Ned snickered.

Ted turned towards his brother. "Oh, you think this is funny? Sinead, keep reading, please."

_Reagan turned back to Ned. "I missed you, Ned," she whispered._  
><em>"I missed you too, Reag." Ned took her face in his hands and leaned down. He—<em>

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Sinead and Ted burst out laughing. Now Ned was the angry one.

"HOW UNREALISTIC CAN YOU GET?" Ned exclaimed. "I—ow!" He suddenly grabbed his head and bent over.

His brother and sister immediately stopped laughing. Sinead touched his forehead. "Headache?"

Ned nodded painfully.

Ted's brow furrowed worriedly for his brother.

"Okay," Sinead said softly. "We'll stop reading these now." She shut down her laptop and closed it.

Ned immediately straightened and grinned. "Good. That's settled, then."

"YOU LITTLE SNEAK!" Sinead shrieked.

"YOU WERE FAKING?" Ted yelled just as loud.

Ned started cracking up. Sinead whacked him with a dishtowel.

"Hey!" Ned exclaimed. "Don't hit me..._Mrs. Holt_."

The two brothers started cracking up. Sinead's face turned bright red.

"AT LEAST I'M NOT DATING SOMEONE THREE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!" she yelled back.

The brothers stopped laughing.

"I WOULD NEVER—"

"ME AND HER? HOW CAN—"

"YOU IDIOTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE—"

"—BUT NOOO, YOU HAD TO—"

"—IN WHAT WORLD WOULD I—"

"—NEVER LIKED HIM, AND I NEVER—"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. The triplets immediately got quiet.

Shooting one last glare at her brothers, Sinead left the kitchen and went into the front hall.

She peeked out the window, and saw a police officer standing on the front step. She quickly unlocked the door and pulled it open.

The cop nodded his head at Sinead and said, "Good evening, miss. We've had some complaints from some neighbors of yours about some loud yelling coming from your house." He peered around Sinead, then said, "Is everything okay?"

Sinead glanced across the street, where she could see Sylvia Storm looking through the window. _That nosy little...if she thinks I'm fixing her television ever again after this, she's nuts._

Sinead looked back at the officer and smiled brightly. "Everything's fine, officer!" she chirped. "My brothers were just...um...watching a football game!"

From the kitchen, she could hear some not-so-quiet protests against the insinuation of them watching that "Tomas' pathetic excuse for a time-worthy sport."

Sinead's fake smile faltered. "Will you excuse me for a moment?" She shut the door, and the officer waited. He raised his eyebrows at the sound of a loud banging, then a chorus of, "OW! SINEAD!"

A minute later, Sinead opened the door again, holding a wrench in one hand. "Yes, officer, everything's fine here," she said, idly swinging the wrench in her hand.

The officer slowly backed away. "Okay, then. You just, uh, give us a call if you need...something..." He ran to his squad car and quickly drove down the street.

Sinead's fake smile dropped from her face the second the police car was out of sight. She leaned against the door frame and blew a piece of hair out of her face, absently hitting the wrench into the palm of her hand in a steady rhythm. She saw Sylvia Storm looking out her window again, and they locked eyes. Sinead made the _I'm watching you_ gesture with her free hand, and Sylvia Storm quickly disappeared from the window.

The Ekat girl sighed and went back inside, wondering how this mess ever got started.

Oh, that's right. The email.

Ned and Ted were discussing the absurdity of the stories as Sinead re-entered the kitchen.

"There is no data to support the mere possibility of me and Madison Holt being together," Ted was saying.

"I beg to differ," Ned countered. "You gave her that cookie at that last Madrigal meeting we went to."

Ted threw his hands into the air. "It fell on the ground! And I didn't _give _it to her, she picked it up, said, 'Finders keepers,' and ate it!"

"Guys, guys, guys," Sinead interrupted, tossing the wrench onto the kitchen table. "Why bother arguing about this? We all know that none of us likes the Holts!"

"Yes, but do the Holts know that?" Ned asked pointedly.

Sinead's face blanched. She hadn't thought of that. She had forgotten that Hamilton had been the one to send her the link...and if he read the Sinilton stories...and thought that she...

"OH MY GOD!" Sinead suddenly dashed to the laptop and turned it back on.

"What?" her brothers asked in unison.

Sinead clicked open her email, then clicked on the message from Hamilton. She sucked in a breath.

"WHAT?" her brothers asked again.

Sinead turned to them slowly. "Not only did the Holts read this," she said quietly, "but this link was sent to the Cahills, the Kabras, and Jonah Wizard, too. All of them reading these stories...and getting the idea that we...that we like..."

* * *

><p>The night-shift operator at the police station groaned after she hung up the phone again. Yet <em>another <em>complaint about screaming disturbances from the Starling residence. It was the fifth call that night.

What on Earth could be going on in that house?

* * *

><p><strong>YES! FINALLY! HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU, POWERS THAT BE! NEW CHAPTER!<strong>

***Finally stops jumping up and down*  
><strong>

**Twenty-two reviews. TWENTY-TWO. I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!**

**Response to Reviews:**

**goddess of lakes: Ahhh...now I get it. !  
><strong>

**Volcanic Lily: Don't you hate when people are like, "Oh, you and so-and-so should go out!"? I'm like, "DUDE! YOU'RE NOT MY FREAKING MATCHMAKER! BUG OFF!"**

**Kowalistair Fanatic: I might try doing Alistair. Maybe. Alistair/Irina? Alistair/Hope? HEY, EVERYONE! LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT AN ALISTAIR PAIRING WITH SOMEONE!**

**SmileYou'reWICKED: Hmm...I had Nellie in the first chapter, but they didn't read any of her stories...maybe I'll do that in a later chapter...*muses***

**Catfriend3000: Don't give away my ultimate plan! XD**

**Sk8erPieninja: Thank you, kind stranger who I have no idea who you are! **

**Everyone who asked for the Starlings: HERE YA GO!**

**Everyone who asked for Jonah: Next, on _Cahills Reading Fanfiction_...**

**Everyone who reviewed: YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PEOPLE!**

**So in my theatre workshop class, my teacher keeps telling us that our monologues need to flow. Whenever she says that, I keeps thinking about FLO, not flow. Our monologues need more "For Losers Only"? I was confusing myself. XP**

**Oh, yeah, in this chapter, Sylvia's husband, Henry? I named him after my friend's chainsaw. Don't ask. Long story.**

**Anyway, I guess that's all. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. More on the way. Those of you reading Six Years Before, I'm almost finished with the next chapter *happy dance*. Return of the Cahills should get an update soon, too.**

**Until the next Cahill reads their own love stories,**

**-KT  
><strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Jonah Wizard was speechless. And that NEVER happened.

It all started when he got an email from Hamilton Holt. Being a day for firsts, Jonah actually had a whole hour to himself before he had to get ready for a concert. So, having virtually nothing better to do (ignoring the fact that he was in a hotel suite with a T.V. with over 300 channels, an Xbox, and unlimited room service), he clicked the link.

Big mistake.

It only took a minute for him to figure out how to maneuver the webpage, and he clicked on the first link that caught his eye: The 39 Clues.

When the new page popped up, he immediately saw his name; six names from the top.

_What?_ he thought. _Don't these fictionforfans people know that my name is exclusive material?_

At first, he assumed that Hamilton had just sent him the link to gloat about the fact that the his name was above Jonah's. Then, after looking closer, Jonah realized that his name was actually a link.

He clicked on the link.

A list of scrambled words came up. His first instinct was to assume that the words were code, but under closer observation, recognized them as couple names. He studied the name at the top of the list.

"Jonead..." he murmured to himself.

Suddenly, his bodyguard burst into the room. "Did you call me, Jonah?" the man asked, looking around the room for signs of intruders.

Jonah was used to this. Without looking up from the screen, he waved his hand and said, "No, Jerry. Everything's fine."

"Oh. Okay then." Jerry slowly closed the door to the room.

_Jonead,_ Jonah thought. _Well, the "Jon" is from Jonah...so the "ead" is from..._

His eyes went wide with realization, and he quickly clicked the first story:

* * *

><p><em>"Sinead, please pick up the phone." Jonah Wizard had been reduced to begging.<em>

* * *

><p>"As if <em>that <em>would ever happen," Jonah murmured to himself.

* * *

><p><em>"Look, please, just give me a minute. I just want to talk to you."<em>

_He heard a click on the line, and a cold voice say, "What is it?"_

_"Sinead, I'm sorry."_

_"I don't want to hear it."_

_"You've gotta believe me, Sinead, going out with that model was just for publicity, I swear!"_

_"For _publicity?_ You betrayed me, took away my dignity, and made me the laughingstock of my friends, all for _publicity?_"_

_"Sinead, please—"_

_"Forget it, Jonah. I'm done. We're done." There was a click, and the line went dead._

* * *

><p>"Watcha reading?"<p>

"AGH!" Jonah yelled, falling off his chair. He looked up into the face of his younger cousin, Phoenix. "Why didn't Jerry tell me you were here?"

Phoenix jerked his thumb at the door. "He went downstairs to get a doughnut."

Jonah rolled his eyes. He makes one small sound and his bodyguard comes barging in, but when someone actually comes into his room, Jerry was downstairs getting a doughnut.

"Protection just isn't the same as it used to be," he sighed.

Phoenix wasn't listening. "What's that? Some sort of story?" He moved closer to the screen.

Jonah quickly moved his body between his cousin's curious eyes and the laptop screen. "It's nothing," he said. "Just some story thing."

"Hey, that's your name!" Phoenix ducked under Jonah's arm and stared at the screen. "Sinead? Cool! Are you in a story with her? What's the story about?"

Jonah jumped to his feet and grabbed his cousin by the shoulders. "Well, this has been a great visit, cuz," he said, steering Phoenix towards the door, "but I gotta get ready for my concert now, so..."

"Aunt Cora said that you're taking me with you to the concert," Phoenix said, squirming out from Jonah's grasp. "And besides, you don't have to start getting ready for forty-five minutes. Lemme see!" He made a beeline for the laptop again.

"Phoenix!" Jonah knew that he should be on vocal rest for his concert, and didn't feel up to arguing anymore. He collapsed backwards onto his king-sized bed and watched his cousin settle into the chair and read the beginning of the story that Jonah had started.

When Phoenix finished the chapter, he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny," Jonah muttered, glaring at the ceiling, hands folded across his chest.

Phoenix was cracking up. Finally, when he calmed down a bit, he gasped, "She...she told you!" He burst out laughing again.

"She did _not!_"

Phoenix looked up at him. "Did this really happen?" he asked, still chuckling.

"OF COURSE NOT!" Jonah exclaimed. "I would _never_...me...and _her_...that's just...it's...it's just some stupid story that someone made up!"

"Okay, okay, don't freak out," Phoenix said, holding his hands up. "I was just asking."

"And I was just telling!"

"Alright, I get the message. You don't like her." Phoenix turned back to the laptop. "So what is this website?"

Jonah rolled off the bed and joined his cousin at the laptop. "I'm not sure," he said. "Hamilton Holt sent me the link. There seems to be stories about all of us."

"_All _of us?"

"I guess."

"Me, too?"

"That is kind of what I meant when I said _all of us_."

"COOL!" Phoenix dove for the mouse and began searching for his name.

Jonah sighed. Phoenix didn't seem to understand why this website was so messed up.

Jerry burst through the door, a doughnut in one hand. "Did you call for me, Jonah?"

"No, Jerry. I just sighed."

"Oh. Alrighty, then." Jerry closed the door.

Jonah checked the time. Thirty minutes before he had to leave.

"Look, Jonah! It's me!" Phoenix clicked on the name, a wide grin on his face.

His face fell when the new page popped up. "Only five stories?" he said sadly. "You had, like, two hundred!"

"Two hundred and eighty, actually," Jonah amended, having had checked the number before.

Phoenix clicked on the first one. "And this one isn't even about me! It's about you!"

Jonah put a hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "Sorry, man."

Phoenix sighed. "It's okay. Why do I want people writing about me, anyway?"

Jonah felt bad for his cousin. He looked at the four other stories on the screen. "Hey, what about this one?" He clicked on the second story, and read aloud:

* * *

><p><em>Phoenix Wizard was being chased by kidnappers. They had snuck into his house and tried to capture him, but he hit them with a teddy bear and ran away.<em>

* * *

><p>"A <em>teddy bear?<em>"  
>"Yo, just listen."<p>

* * *

><p><em>He pulled out his phone while he ran and called his best friend Reagan Holt. He kind of had a crush on Reagan, but he never told her because he thought she would laugh at him.<em>

* * *

><p>"WHAT?"<br>Jonah snickered. "Hey, you wanted a story. You got one." He kept reading:

* * *

><p><em>"Hello?"<em>

_"Reagan, some guys are chasing me."_

_"Where are you?"_

_"I'm running past a Chinese food place."_

_"Ooh, can you get me some lo mein?"_

_"Reagan!"_

_"Sorry, sorry. I'll be right there."_

_Two minutes later, Phoenix heard a gunshot, and he turned around. His kidnappers were shot dead, and Reagan had shot them._

_"Reagan, you shot them."_

_"I know."_

_"I think you saved my life."_

_"I know."_

_"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"_

_Reagan sighed. "I'm sorry, Phoenix, but I'm going out with Dan Cahill."_

_The next day, Phoenix went and killed Dan Cahill._

_"Oh, Phoenix, you killed Dan just so I could be your girlfriend? You're so brave!"_

_"I know!"_

_They kissed and lived happily ever after and had a kid named Jonah._

* * *

><p>"WHAT?"<p>

"Okay, just kidding, I added the last part."

Phoenix stared at his older cousin. "Not _that_. I meant THE WHOLE STORY!"

"Oh, yeah, right..."

Phoenix gestured wildly at the laptop. "That person said I liked Reagan! And that she shot those guys! And that she was dating Dan! And I killed Dan! And she liked that!"

"Okay, so it wasn't the greatest story..."

"WASN'T THE GREATEST STORY? THAT WAS HORRIBLY UNREALISTIC!"

Jonah put his hands on Phoenix's shoulders. "Calm down, bro. You're freaking out."

Phoenix was hyperventilating. "How could anyone even think I was _capable_ of something like that?"

"I don't know, dude. I mean—"

"It's not like I hate Dan Cahill!"

"I know that, man, they just—"

"And I definitely _don't _like Reagan Holt!"

"PHOENIX!"

Phoenix looked up at his older cousin. "Huh?"

"Dude. Chill. It's just a story."

Phoenix let out a sigh. "Right. Just a story. Not real. I know that." His eyes suddenly went wide. "BUT WHAT IF DAN READS IT AND THINKS I WANT TO KILL HIM?" He started running around the room in a frenzy. "OR WORSE! WHAT IF _REAGAN_ READS IT AND THINKS THAT I LIKE HER?"

Jonah grabbed onto his cousin's shirt, making him stand still. "Don't worry, 'nix. Look at me! I should be worried that Sinead Starling might think that I like her, but do I look worried?" He didn't wait for an answer from his hyperactive younger cousin before saying, "No. I don't. Y'know why? Because this is an out of the, nobody, cheapo website. The others'll never see it!"

This seemed to calm Phoenix down. But only for a moment. A shadow passed over his face. "How did you say you got the link from again?"

"From Hamilt—" The calm look on Jonah's face was exchanged with a look of horror. The two Wizard boys dove for the laptop.

Jonah quickly opened his webmail and clicked on the message from Hamilton.

"It was forwarded to everyone," Phoenix whispered.

The two boys looked at each other.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jerry poked his head through the door. "Did you call me, Jonah?"

* * *

><p><strong>O.O<strong>

**It can't be true.**

***rubs eyes***

**I must be seeing things.**

***checks again***

**HOLY GIDEON CAHILL! I UPDATED!**

**It all happened last night. I was on my iPod, browsing fanfiction, before I was hit with the sudden realization of how long it had been before I had updated this story.**

**So opened my notes on my iPod and began typing. _Voila._ It's no masterpiece, but a chapter's a chapter.**

**Response to Reviews:**

**XP Well, I just realized that no one probably even remembers their reviews, so let me just say thank you one and all for reviewing and for being so patient ((and please don't keep your promises to kill me if I didn't update soon...you won't get another chapter if you don't...just sayin'...))**

**And I'm celebrating that I only got two hate reviews! Haters will be haters, and that's their opinion. I'm cool with that.**

**So! About the next chapter. _Hopefully _((pleasepleasepleaseplease)) I'll update sooner next time, but I'd like ideas for who to do next. I'm thinking Alistair. Now, a lot of you gave suggestions for Alistair in your reviews, but please review and let me know what pairings you'd like ((or any other ideas...I'm trying to keep this from being more repetitive)).**

**Okay, I think that's all. Watch me publish this and then remember something else XP Anywho...**

**OH, WAIT!**

**I'm going to add this in my other stories, too.** **Readers of this story, PLEASE REVIEW! I know, I know, sometimes you just feel like reading and just don't feel like reviewing. But really, I'm not picky! As much as I love detailed reviews, if you really don't feel like writing one, a simple one-liner will do! Even a quote from the story that you liked–all you have to do then in copy and paste! I get lots of emails saying that someone favorited a story or alerted a story, but there's still the same amount of reviews as the last time I checked. So please, review!**

**Don't think I'm greedy. I love you all, even if you don't review.**

**Good luck on midterms for those who have them XP,  
><strong>

**-KT**

**P.S. So I just saved the document, and FF won't let me have large spaces between the stories and the dialogues, so I put in those page breaks. Hope they're not too annoying.  
><strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Ladies and gentlemen, Cahills of all ages...by popular demand, I now bring Nellie Gomez, starring in...CHAPTER 6.**

**P.S. Thanks to StuckInSpace and anyone else who suggested the contents of this chapter.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>After about fifteen minutes of listening to the cries of dismay coming from Dan's room, Nellie finally had enough.<p>

"Don't you two have homework?" she called from the kitchen.

She heard the door creak open, then two sets of footsteps come trudging down the hall.

Amy and Dan entered the kitchen. Their faces were polar opposites—Amy's bright red, and Dan's deathly pale.

"That was...scary," Dan said hoarsely, collapsing into a kitchen chair.

Any nodded in agreement, leaning against a counter.

Nellie was stirring something in a pot on the stove. "Dude, come on," she said. "They're just _stories_."

"JUST STORIES?" Dan burst out. "SOMEONE WROTE ABOUT ME GETTING MARRIED TO NATALIE COBRA!"

Amy let out a giggle.

"Oh, you think that's funny? What about that story with you and Ian having KIDS?"

Amy groaned and buried her head in her arms.

Nellie chuckled. "You two are taking these stories _way _too seriously. If anyone wrote stories about me, I'd be honored, if anything."

Dan and Amy sat up.

"_Really?_" Dan asked, drawing out the word. "You wouldn't get freaked out?"

Nellie shrugged. "Why would I? It's just a story."

"You wouldn't react negatively at all?" Amy added, leaning forward.

"Not at all," Nellie said confidently, shaking some spices into the pot on the stove.

Amy and Dan exchanged a long look, and Nellie knew that they were having one of their _conversations_.

"You guys know that's really creepy, right?" she commented, pressing some buttons on the stove.

They ignored her. Dan finally nodded and slid off his seat, running out of the kitchen.

"Where's he going?" Nellie asked, gesturing after him with her spoon.

"Just testing a theory," Amy said. "He should be back in three...two...one..."

Dan slid back into the kitchen, holding his beloved laptop under one arm. He quickly booted it up and clicked a few keys. "Now, let's see," he said, scrolling down a page. "Nellie Gomez..."

Nelie snorted, shaking out her black and silver hair. "You're looking for stories for me on that site? Good luck with th—"

"There!" Amy said triumphantly, looking over her brother's shoulder at the screen.

_No way,_ Nellie thought, moving across the kitchen to join them at the laptop.

Dan clicked on the link that read _Nellie Gomez_.

"Aw, too bad," Nellie said. "There's only six stories there."

Dan clicked on the first one. Amy began reading aloud.

_Nellie was getting ready for a wild party._

"Realistic so far," Dan commented, getting him a smack on the arm from Nellie.

_She put in her snake nose ring, applied her makeup, and ran her hand through her hair to make it stick out in several different directions. __  
><em>_Nellie went to her closet to pick out an outfit. She opened the door and let out an ear-piercing scream._

"What?" Nellie exclaimed. "My screams are NOT ear-piercing."

Dan pointed to a spot on the floor. "Oh, cool! A rat!"

"_AIIIIIIIIIIIII!_"

Nellie caught her breath and glared at Dan, who was smiling innocently. "Uncool, dude."

"My point has been proven. Proceed, sister."

Amy gave Dan a strange look and continued.

_Dan came running into the room. __  
><em>_"Hi-yah!" he yelled, striking a ninja pose. "What's wrong?" __  
><em>_Amy was right behind him. "W-w-what h-h-happened, N-Nellie?"_

"Very good stutter, Amy."

"Be quiet, dweeb."

_Nellie backed away from the closet, and a figure emerged from it. __  
><em>_Dan and Amy's jaws dropped. __  
><em>_"THEO?"_

"THEO?"

"THEO?"

"That's what I said," Amy said in exasperation. "Aren't you two listening?"

"Theo?" Nellie repeated. "That no good, two-timing, double-crossing snake in the grass?"

"No, Nellie," Dan amended, "we're talking about Theo, not Ian."

"DAN!"

"Sorry, sorry..."

"What the heck is _Theo_ doing in my _closet?_"

Amy cocked her head. "Nellie, don't you think you're taking this story a bit too _seriously?_" A smile tugged at her lips.

Nellie's breathing slowed. "Me? No way," she said calmly. "Please continue."

_"I can explain," Theo said, holding his hands up in a sign of peace. __  
><em>_"You better, you creeper," Dan said. __  
><em>_"I'm not being a creeper!" __  
><em>_"Then why were you in my closet?" Nellie exclaimed. __  
><em>_"I...I just needed to see you." __  
><em>_"So you decided to meet me in my CLOSET?" __  
><em>_"Nellie, please." Theo's face was pleading. "I wanted to tell you...that I am so sorry for everything I've done. Everything I've done to hurt you. I didn't mean to betray you. I always liked you." __  
><em>_"Sound familiar?" Dan asked, nudging Amy. __  
><em>_"Zip it, dweeb."_

"Zip it, dweeb!" Amy repeated as Dan burst out laughing.

"This author is a genius!" he choked out. "They're writing us perfectly!"

Nellie rolled her eyes.

Amy turned back to the screen, skimmed the next few lines, and grinned. "Oh, really? We'll just see about that."

_"Zip it, dweeb," Amy replied. "Shouldn't you be calling your girlfriend by now?" __  
><em>_Dan blanched. "Oh my god! Natalie's gonna kill me!" He dashed out of the room._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dan howled with despair, falling to the tiled floor of the kitchen. "I CAN'T ESCAPE IT! EVEN IN STORIES ABOUT NELLIE, THE NATAN HAUNTS ME!"

"Oh, don't be such a drama king," Amy said, rolling her eyes.

"Um, _hello?_" Nellie said pointedly. "Story about me over here! I want to hear the ending!"

"With pleasure," Amy replied, turning away from her brother, who was pounding at the floor with his fists, moaning, "Why? Why me? What have I done to deserve this?"

_Amy followed her brother out, leaving Nellie and Theo alone. __  
><em>_"So..." Theo said awkwardly. __  
><em>_"Do you mean it?" Nellie asked, her eyes brimming with tears. __  
><em>_"With all my heart," Theo replied, taking her hands in his._

"Oh, god," Nellie groaned.

_Then he kissed her._

"EWWWWWWWW!"

"Dan, you are such a _child!_

"Easy for you to say! I'm sure you want to get all that lovey-dovey with Ian Kabra!"

"YOU'RE DEAD, DWEEB!"

Amy chased Dan out of the kitchen.

Nellie listened to their muffled yells from the other room for a moment, then pulled the laptop over to her and continued reading.

Amy reentered the room, a few minutes later, Dan's nunchucks swinging from one hand, his Xbox remote dangling from the other. "Did you finish the story?" she asked, dropping the confiscated items onto the counter top.

Nellie nodded, clicking on the "next chapter" button. "It didn't get much better. Actually, it was all pretty unrealistic. Hey, this doesn't look like a chapter..."

_Dear readers, __  
><em>_I am not going to continue "Creeper Love" because of a lot of flames I got for it. I just wanted to say that I don't care what you all say. However, I'm still not going to finish this story, so ha ha. I hope all of you meanies have miserable lives. Goodbye forever._

"What're flames?"

"I think they're the kind of reviews that Dan leaves for the Natan stories."

"Ah. That's harsh."

"Yeah."

Dan came into the kitchen. "C'mon, Amy. Give 'em back!" He saw that Nellie had finished the story. "Well? Are you freaked out?"

Nellie snorted. "Not at all. I'm not one to overreact over some silly little story."

"Really?" Amy asked. "You're not shaken up, even a little bit?"

Nellie shook her head as the phone rang. "Not a bit. Why should I? It's just a story." She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is Theo—"

"_AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!_" Nellie slammed the phone down, breathing heavily.

Amy and Dan both stared at her.

"Okay," she said shakily. "Maybe a _little_ shaken up."

* * *

><p>Theo Welshing of <em>Adams and Abrams Home Repairs <em>telemarketing department sighed and hung up the phone. That was the tenth hang-up that day.

He was definitely not making his quota at this rate.

* * *

><p><strong>FINALLY.<strong>

**I swear, I've gotten on the computer about five times in the last week, but this is the first time I was actually able to log on and update. THANK YOU, POWERS THAT BE!**

**Response to Reviews:**

**-omg-KITTENS: I named Jonah's bodyguard after my friend Jerry, who, in actuality, is a girl XD And thanks, I'll be careful.**

**-SqueakyDolphin6: Oo, good ideas. I'll keep 'em in mind.**

**-The Girl of the Moon: Or if they read Cahills Read Fanfiction...OMGs, FANCICTION-CEPTION!**

**-watermelonwafflesBISCUITS: Dude, I'll do that ;)**

**-StuckInSpace: Thanks for the idea–I used it. And thanks for the confidence. I try to ignore flames the best I can.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Love you all!**

**Watch. I'm gonna publish this chapter and then remember a bunch more things I wanted to say. I have to start writing them down. Oh, well. I have two more stories to update. Maybe I'll think of it by then.**

**Anyway, au revoir everyone! Until chapter 7!**

**-KT  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Me: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**

**Ian: *wonders how he got in here* Er...are you okay?**

**Me: *sobs louder* WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!**

**Ian: What on Earth is the matter?**

**Me: THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!**

**Ian: Oh. That's all?**

**Me: That's all? THAT'S ALL? HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? WAAHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Ian: *shuffles uncomfortably* Would it make you feel any better if I say the disclaimer?**

**Me: *sniff* Maybe.**

**Ian: Fine. KTRose12 does not own the 39 Clues or fanfiction. Feeling better?  
><strong>

**Me: A bit.**

**Ian: What else do you want?**

**Me: Tell Amy that you l–**

**Ian: FORGET IT!**

**Me: WAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**

* * *

><p>Dan was crouched behind the couch. Amy was dashing around the mansion in a whirlwind of cleaning, getting ready for when the others arrived. He knew that if his sister found him, she would make him clean his room.<p>

And that was a punishment too harsh for anyone.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Dan! Get the door!" Amy yelled from upstairs.

Dan sighed, crawled out from behind the couch, and went into the front hall to let in the first arrivals.

The Starlings and the Holts had arrived at the same time, and were all acting a bit...strange.

Sinead and Hamilton kept stealing quick looks at each other, looking as if they expected the other to attack or something. Ted kept glancing nervously at Madison, who was keeping a good distance away from Ned, who seemed to be avoiding Reagan, who let out a startled squeak when Dan appeared at the door.

Dan gave them all a strange look. "Are you guys okay?"

"Great!"

"Fine!"

"Never better!"

Dan raised an eyebrow. "Okay...well, come in...I guess..." He held open the door, and the kids walked in, cautiously inching past one another.

Dan was about to close the door when two limos pulled up in front of the mansion.

From one limo emerged Jonah and Phoenix Wizard. From the other, the Kabra siblings.

The four kids made their way up to the front door, not saying a word, not even daring to make eye contact with each other.

Dan saw Natalie and choked. He quickly backed away from the door, shouting, "COME IN!" over his shoulder as he ran away.

Phoenix let out a sigh of relief.

Ian pushed the door open wider and muttered something about poor American manners.

As the four kids entered the front hall, Amy appeared at the top of the stairs. She and Ian caught sight of each other at the same time.

Amy let out a squeak and backed away, disappearing from sight. Ian reddened and ducked his head.

Natalie rolled her eyes at them, but let out a squeak to rival Amy's as they entered the den where the others were and caught sight of Hamilton.

Jonah saw Sinead and blanched.

Madison glanced at Ian and groaned.

Ian glared at Hamilton.

Phoenix caught sight of Reagan and ducked his head.

Nellie came into the room, dragging Amy and Dan behind her. The others could hear her bits of her fierce whispers: "—don't let some stupid website—" "—being immature—" "—not even real—"

Amy cleared her throat and stood in front of the others.

"Um...hi, everyone," she said awkwardly, still avoiding looking at Ian.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Yo."

"What's up?"

Amy cleared her throat again. "Well...um..." She seemed at a loss. No one seemed to be paying any attention—on the contrary, they were all sneaking suspicious glances at one another, then quickly looking away as the object of their observation looked their way. Amy hadn't seen them so hostile-looking since the clue hunt.

Dan tapped on her shoulder, and motioned for her to lean in. He whispered something in her ear.

When he finished, Amy turned to the others again. "I think we have a little issue that we need straightened out," she said. "It's about a website."

There was a murmuring of agreement from the kids, and several glares sent in the direction of Hamilton, who glared right back.

"I think we've all seen this website, and read some of the stories," Amy said, pausing for an affirmative reply.

"Some?" Dan murmured. "You read every single story in the Ami—"

Amy slapped her hand over his mouth before he could finish. "Anyway," she continued, "I think we should get this out of the way before we can continue. We can't work together if we're constantly suspecting each other of things that aren't true." She looked around. "So...who'd like to start?"

There was a silence.

"Anyone?"

Still, silence.

Nellie raised her hand. "Um, I'd just like to say...I don't like Theo."

Everyone but Amy and Dan looked at her, perplexed.

"Just saying." She sat down again.

"Okay..." Amy said slowly. "Anyone else?"

Natalie stood, smoothed out her dress, put on a stern face, and turned to Hamilton.  
>"Hamilton," she said, "I am <em>not<em> marrying you."

Hamilton's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He spluttered for a moment, then finally managed to choke out, "Why...would I want...to marry YOU?"

Natalie looked around. "I, er...read a story about it..." Realization suddenly registered on her face, and she looked back at Hamilton, a furious look on her face. "What do you mean, why would you want to marry me? Who _wouldn't _want to marry me?"

Slowly, everyone in the room raised their hands.

Natalie crossed her arms and plopped back down on the couch with a _humph_.

Hamilton cleared his throat and turned away from Natalie, looking at Sinead.

"Sinead, I don't like you."

"Excuse me?"  
>Hamilton backtracked. "I mean, I don't <em>like<em> like you. Not like _that_."

Sinead reddened. "Yeah," she agreed, "I don't like you, either."

"And I don't like you, either," Jonah piped up.

Hamilton gave him a strange look, then said in a strangled voice, "You read a story where _we _were together?"

Jonah made a face. "No! I was talking to _Sinead!_ Jeez."

Phoenix stood, a serious look on his face. He turned to Dan, who paled.

"Dan," he said slowly, "I don't want to kill you. You can have Reagan."

Both Dan and Reagan turned bright red.

"I don't...the...you...no thanks," Dan finally said.

"Yeah," Reagan agreed, "the story I read said I liked Dan. Dan, I _don't _like you."

Dan fist-bumped her. "Right back at ya, Reag." He then grew solemn, and turned to Natalie.

Natalie blanched. "Oh, no..."

Dan's eyes widened. "You didn't read any?"

Natalie scoffed. "I didn't spend more than five minutes on that silly website!"

"Try forty-five," Ian murmured.

Dan shuddered. "I only spent twenty-five," he said, "and the Natan still haunts me."

"The _WHAT?_"

Dan shook his head. "Don't ask."

Madison stood. "Well, I'd just like to make it clear that I don't like Ned _or_ Ian. Okay?"

Ian began coughing violently, and Ned reddened.

"Well," Ned choked out, "I don't like Reagan."

"That's a relief," Reagan said drily.

"And I don't like you, Madison," Ted piped up. "I mean, I like you. I just don't _like _like you."

Madison smirked. "I get it."

The room fell silent, and everyone looked around at one another, wondering who would be next.

Natalie elbowed her brother.

"Ouch! What?"

Natalie gave him a look.

"Oh, all right. I don't fancy Sinead."

Natalie jammed her elbow into his ribs.

"Ow! Fine! And I don't like Amy." Ian glared at his sister. "Happy?"

Natalie just rolled her eyes.

Amy cleared her throat, her face bright red. "And I don't like Hamilton. Or...or Ian."

Ian cleared his throat and clapped his hands together. "Well, now that that's all out of the way, can we start the meeting?"

Eventually, the Cahills all returned home. But although they all vowed they would never visit the website again, well...

* * *

><p>"Hamilton! Look at the new story about you and Sinead!"<p>

"Ian! There's ANOTHER story about me and Ted Starling!"

"AUUUGH! THE NATAN! IT BURNS!"

"Jonah and Amy, sitting in a tree..."

"Oh my god...SINEAD! COME LOOK AT THIS!"

Well? Wouldn't you?

* * *

><p><strong>WAAAHHHHHHHHH!<strong>

**It's true. This is it. The end. Fin. Finito. **

**I FEEL SO MELANCHOLY!**

**But at the same time, I'm kind of excited. Now I have time for all the other story ideas I have.**

**BUT STILL!**

**Response to Reviews:**

**Well, not much to say. I apologize for everyone who asked for Isabel, Alistair, Vikram, Irina, etc. I figured it would be best to stop here. But thank you all for reviewing, all the same. I love hearing about your family members giving you strange looks when you burst out laughing, or when you fall of your chairs laughing...well, I just like hearing that you laughed. That's my ultimate goal here. **

**Oh gods, I'm gonna start getting sappy. Thanks to everyone who stayed with this story...who favorited...alerted...reviewed...I love you all...*sniff* You are all amazing.**

**Please stick around reading my other stories, as well as keep a lookout for new stories.**

**WAAAHHHHHHHHHH!**

**I'm okay. I'm okay.**

**Well, th-th-th-that's all, folks!**

**See y'all around FF,**

**-KT  
><strong>


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